I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
