Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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