i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Bring me that man meat
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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