i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
