Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
