you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
