Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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