I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
