This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
