I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize