WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize