Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
