Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
