At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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