Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
