i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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