yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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