I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
