The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
