We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
