My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
