you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
