A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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