I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
there's paper in my vomit.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
