who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
