He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
