so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Someone came in the potted fern
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
