he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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