Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
