I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
There are leaves in my underwear?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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