He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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