Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
