Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
