I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
