I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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