The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
