he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize