Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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