Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
