id be glad to
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
