I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
