Will you blow on my dice?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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