I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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