everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
