I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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