Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
