Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
