She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
where are my eyebrows?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
