i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
