so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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