if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
