Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
