she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
