it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I can feel your judgement through the phone
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
