The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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