Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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