69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
