so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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