theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
