As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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