I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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