you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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