Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
