Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
