I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
