he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
