I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
